The Heavier I Held It, the Heavier It Got

I've been reading a book about consciousness lately, and it keeps making me stop and go, huh.

Not in a floaty, woo way. In a "wait... this is exactly what's happening in my business" way.

Here's the pattern it finally put words to.

For a stretch this year, I went heads-down. Long hours, weekends, jaw set, grinding to get things done. And the strangest thing happened: the harder I pushed, the heavier everything got. Decisions got harder. Conversations got tighter. The work I was forcing seemed to push back.

Then I'd have a lighter week. More open, less clenched. And things moved. A good conversation turned into a real connection. An idea I'd been stuck on loosened. Same work, half the resistance.

At first I called it luck. But it kept happening, in both directions, far too reliably to be luck.

Here's what I think is actually going on, and it isn't magic.

When you decide something is heavy, you hold it heavy. You brace. Your thinking narrows... stress literally shrinks the number of options you can see. You show up to conversations a little clenched, and people feel it. And you start noticing every piece of evidence that it's hard, because that's exactly what you're braced for.

Lightness does the opposite. When you're open, you notice openings. You're easier to be around, so more comes toward you. The work didn't change. What you brought to it did.

I hear a version of this from coaches all the time. "I'm bad at tech." "That's just not my thing." "I don't get it, I never have."

And here's the uncomfortable part, said with love, because I've done my own version of it in other corners of my life: the more you say it, the truer it gets.

Not because we're incapable. Because "I'm bad at tech" is an instruction. We brace before we even open the thing. We avoid it, so we never build any fluency. We go looking for proof it's too hard, and of course we find it. The belief quietly writes the outcome.

I'm not saying the tools aren't genuinely clunky. A lot of them are, and that's a whole different post. I'm saying some of the heaviness was never in the tool. It's in the weight we decided to carry toward it.

(Do I still do this all the time even as a tech person? 100%... just ask me about setting up in-depth sales funnels on ActiveCampaign.)

This is the part I find genuinely freeing, and the reason I wanted to write this post.

If the heaviness is partly something you're bringing, then some of it is yours to put down. Not by pretending hard things are easy. By loosening your grip on them.

I've started "anti" guarding how I feel about our business the way I'm trying to "anti" guard my calendar. When I catch myself going heavy... this HAS to get done, I have to grind this out... I stop and ask whether that's actually true, or whether I just picked it up somewhere. Usually, it's borrowed. And the moment I set it down, the work gets lighter. And better. (and WAY more fun.)

Some of that weight is real... the scattered tools, the admin, the pieces of a business that were never meant to live in your head. That kind we can take off your plate (more on that in a second). But the weight you pile on top of it? That part is an inside job. And it might be the highest-leverage thing you do all week.

So here's the question I keep sitting with, from that book and from my own stubborn pile of evidence:

That real weight, the tools-and-admin kind, is exactly what we built Sidkik to carry. One place for all the scattered pieces of your business, so running it stops being a daily grind and starts feeling light again. It opens soon, and I'd love for you to be first in line.

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